Letters

ELEMENTARY SCHOOL FAILURE: Can There Be Such a Thing?

Dear In Your Right Mind:
    My child is in elementary school (2nd  grade),  and at our last conference, my husband and I were told that she is behind the other kids in her class in most of  her academic skills.  She has an older brother who is an outstanding student,  and both my husband and I are college graduates with advanced degrees.  School says not to worry,  that this will all “fill in” over the next couple of years,  but something is not right.  We are quite concerned about her level of self-esteem and self-confidence since she began coming home from school telling us she is “stupid.”
What do you think? Am I worrying too much?

            Signed,

Dear Feeling Helpless:
    In Your Right Mind thinks that you are wise to investigate further.  We are uncomfortable with “putting off for tomorrow what you can accomplish today,” especially when it involves a child!
    Child development is uneven,  which simply put means most children develop at a slightly different pace.  That being said,  it is unwise to ignore early signs of difficulty.  It is not  better to “travel hopefully than to arrive!”  You need the facts.
Your informal evaluation can  begin by planning a number of visits to your daughter’s class to observe her,  how she behaves and performs,  how she gets along with
her peers and her teacher,  where she sits,  who she sits next to,  what occupies her attention and efforts.
Remember that at the start,  your being there may have a slightly disruptive
effect upon her and the class: this should subside as you fade into the woodwork….

    If your family has a history of learning disabilities,  attentional (ADD/ADHD) diagnoses,  a  developmental tendency to mature late (relative to peers),  left-handedness,  or your daughter was born with any birth or birthing complications,  any of these may be considered “red flags,” or contributing factors regarding her learning needs which you may want to investigate further.
    Your next step might be to request that school provide your child with an educational assessment to establish how your child is performing,  both relative to her peers, but more importantly,  relative to her own learning abilities,  deficits,  delays,  and potential as it relates to her IQ. 

 

    Remember that most school system’s first test battery is to determine eligibility for Special Education services rather than diagnostically oriented to specifically focus upon and identify the nature of her learning gap.  You may be approved or denied. If approved, try to request more than the “Standard Test Battery,”  which usually consists of an IQ test, set of Achievement Tests, and usually some  indicator to test for neurological impairment.  If possible, you’d like some more direct diagnostic tests for learning disabilities, Short-Term Memory impairment,  and individual Learning Style strengths and weaknesses. 
Also please remember that any assessment is typically only as good as the quality of the person or persons administering the tests and interpreting the results.  For example,
many tests only measure one dimension of a skill.  So, for example,  if a current concern or problem is that your daughter doesn’t complete her work,  a diagnostic test in reading which is un-timed is not as  useful as one  which explores the dimension of the speed at which she works: i.e. she could be an excellent but slow reader!

    If the school will neither test the child nor provide you with (i.e. pay for) an outside educational evaluation, you are free to do so yourselves, at your own expense!.  Depending on whether your child is or isn’t identifiable as a Special Education student and the Special Education laws of your state,  you may be  able to be reimbursed for these additional assessment expenses.

    It is In Your Right Mind’s preference that you seek out qualified independent professionals with advanced Graduate degrees rather than “chain educational” centers,  which provide a very modest  and superficial assessment package aimed more at selling their services than providing you with the in-depth information you desire and need.

    It is not unheard of to employ psychiatrists and lawyers,  language specialists,  educational diagnosticians, etc.  and by so doing,   create your own  multidisciplinary team whose intent is to attain services which are improperly denied.

    Overall, it is In Your Right Mind’s goal for each child to receive the types of education most suited to how the child learns,  not require the child’s learning needs to be determined by how the school or teacher prefers to dispense information or what they may narrowly define as valuable knowledge.

Good luck and keep us informed of your progress!

Dear In Your Right Mind,
    My daughter seems lost in 7th grade!   She sits in the back of the room and appears  to daydream: at least this is what her Teacher says and what I have observed both in the classroom and at home.
    At our last Parent-Teacher conference,  I wasn’t sure that her Science teacher even knew her name let alone saw that there was a problem even though she only received a C last term.  He says he is satisfied with her performance ,  but I am not.   She is very bright (I have had her tested),  but she reads slowly, and daydreams incessantly,  preferring drawing and her dancing to most of her classes .
    She is doing well in English and her Social Sciences class,  although it takes her a great deal of time to accomplish her homework,  and her Art teacher say she is talented.
My husband is upset at the poor grades,  as he was an excellent Middle/High School student.
    Should we enroll her at our local Performing Arts Magnet School?     Should I expect more of her academically: after all,  she is quite intelligent and I have the IQ test to prove it!
Thank you.

            Signed,

            Determined in Detroit

Dear Determined:
    Your daughter sounds like she may be spending most of her waking,  more boring  academic/classroom moments In Her Right Mind!   On the other hand,  she may also be experiencing the generalized disorganization some children experience when they are confronted with Middle School’s multiple teachers,  scheduling complexities,  and social demands! 
    Your daughter  may very well be as bright as you say,  but the manner in which
she is currently being taught by her Science teacher (and you might check her Math class as well) might be so out of phase with how she learns best that she just as well might daydream and look out the window than attend to information which is being  taught. 
Remember,  “Message sent is not Necessarily Message Received,”   and the incongruent, not particularly helpful manner of teaching in Science and perhaps math is not connecting.  Unfortunately,  it will be your daughter who suffers for this mismatch,  both in poor grades and a diminished sense of ability,  self-confidence and self-esteem. (relative to her label as “bright’) or her future interest in Science that these experiences may engender for her…

    This doesn’t or shouldn’t excuse your daughter’s under-performance,  especially if she is bright,  but it does point to the need to perhaps get her some meaningful Study Skills which employ her strengths to offset her weaknesses (see various articles on strengths and weakness of right and left brain learners elsewhere in In Your Right Mind).
By so doing you will assist in helping her build a compensatory bridge she will need if she desires to perform optimally in classes which are organized or taught in a way which diminishes her chances of succeeding at her ability level.

    Depending on her level of maturity,  commitment, and life goals,  you may want to re-evaluate her academic path to accentuate her strengths and interests;  she’ll use those brains no matter where she learns.  Rather than try to recreate her Fasther’s (left-brain) academic glory in high school,  which may result in her tuning out from those teachers who do not engage or teach to her in a meaningful manner in which she can learn as easily as most of her other classmates are able,  why not acknowledge that her different style has value and merit ot its own which needs to be explored?
    I must admit that I was wondering whether she,  you,  her dad, or any Aunts  or Uncles learning and life experiences resembled her learning pattern and talents…and whether she is left-handed?
    You may just have a Right-Brain learner who is finding it quite a challenge to apply her intelligence within the increasingly confining teaching and learning methods used in middle School , and which contrast significantly with Elementary School.
    Remember, at least in  Elementary school,  your daughter’s  teacher had her in class all day and really got to know her: knew how she worked, what her strengths and weaknesses were, how to challenge and reward her.  That has changed and shifted significantly with the move into Middle School,  the increased number of teachers, and a very different atmosphere when it comes to their expectations for academic performance!

Dear In Your Right Mind:
    My son was an excellent student in elementary school,  but his grades have been going downhill ever since he entered Middle School.  He is now in the 11th grade,  and his school guidance counselor has suggested he apply to a magnet school in our area for vocational studies. I am uncomfortable with his switching,  knowing he is bright and capable.  He does well in some classes but can’t seem to get it in gear for his other classes,  but he doesn’t hate school. What’s going on in your opinion?

        Signed,

        Confused in California

Dear Confused:
    In Your Right Mind is suspicious of the movement to segregate kids with special skills or talents into magnet schools.  Though probably well-inetnioned, we believe ti seves the systemic needs of the educational system more than it may meet the needs of each and every child who is gifted in a specific area of competentcy.  It smacks of the same tactics that schools have used for decades to remove certain populations from the general education roles and deposit them into so-called “special” schools.
    These schools may or may not be right for your or any other child.  First, know your children’s abilities as mentioned previously,   and have you son professionally evaluated.
Consider his interests in concert with any future professional goals, such as a
desire to attend post-secondary school, as well as his need to make a living sometime in the distant future..  Making a living in any one of the vocational trades is respectable, meaningful work, but  In Your Right Mind first wants to have you assure yourself that your son couldn’t be performing more competitively if he was being taught more appropriate to his needs.
    I’d be interested in how he spends his free time,  what you both see as his major strengths or talents, and where his future interests lie.
    There is little doubt that “higher education” isn’t for everyone,  on the other hand, In Your Right Mind firmly believes that significant numbers of talented individuals with much to contribute to society are being segregated and literally expelled from the educational system because they (the student) doesn’t fit into it.
    This is the wrong approach.  Most educators appear to be unwilling to provide students who have alternative learning needs with the resources to acquire the  identified knowledge.  It is our position at In Your Right Mind that individuals who learn alternative to the majority bring a great resource and value to problem-solving.  By attacking problems from a unique angle, one which the majority would have summarily eliminated based upon their quantitative analysis,  non-traditional learners leave pen doors long shut by the left-brained.. Perhaps  schools and teachers should invest more trust in their intuition or at least in those who purport to have intuition!!

Dear In Your Right Mind:
    My son and daughter are always saying that they do well in classes they like or in the classes in which they like the teacher,  but they are unmotivated in those classes where the above is not true.   Does this mean my kids are lazy and unwilling to work except when they want to or is something else going on?

            Signed,

            Just Trying to Understand

Dear Just Trying:
    Great Observations by your kids, and we here at In Your Right Mind are appreciative of your desire to understand rather than blame or threaten!  Your children are probably not aware of it,  but those classes in which they do well are most probably classes in which they connect with the teacher or materials. Often their connection with the class or teacher is tied to the way the information is communicated (presented) in class and the manner in which they are graded and expected to participate.
    For example, many teachers are 100% tied to lectures, quizzes and written compositions to evaluate and grade academic performance.  Depending on the subject, other teachers  might be more open to a wider range of evaluative and grading options.

    So…what to do? In Your Right Mind is a firm believer in you as Parents knowing who your child is as a “learner.”  If you haven’t done so, we would first suggest an Educational Diagnostic Evaluation for  your son and daughter.  Get a blueprint which will objectively inform you of your children’s general abilities, learning style, and any unique strengths, weaknesses, or learning needs.
    Don’t make assumptions based upon either what your children or their teachers are communicating, and don’t be too quick to move them to a magnet school.  Talents are one thing, but making a living as an adult with those talents is another.
   
Take care. We wish you the best!

        Signed,

The Folks at In Your Right Mind

Dear In Your Right Mind,
    I never did well in high school or in college although my parents always told me that my test scores were as high as my younger brother’s,  who is a physician.  I am 38 and I have always been told that I am talented, creative,  and  work well with my hands, but I when I try to apply for a vocational training program,  I can’t pass the entrance tests.  What’s wrong?

    Signed,

    Losing Out

Dear Losing Out,
    You are a walking, talking example of how school systems fail to meet the needs of students who experience academic turbulence and difficulties.  Instead of instilling in you a sense of your own personal, perhaps unique strengths and weaknesses as a learner, school left you feeling less competent and short-changed , at least relative to your brother.
    And you were short-changed!
    First, invest in an Educational Diagnostic evaluation to determine where  you currently stand.  Gather objective information disconnected from your subjective impressions of being let down or under-valued.  Knowledge of your true ability level will assist you in reconnecting with your career aspirations.  It’ll also assess where your IQ and skills in math, reading, written expressive language, spelling etc. currently stand,  and how you might best address any learning needs or deficits you might uncover in pursuit of a new  career focus.
    Some potential scenarios include:
•    Undeveloped skill sets (for example, perhaps you read slowly but your Comprehension is excellent: unfortunately for you, the test is timed).
•    Perhaps you have a learning disability
•    Your learning style is such that when you were in school you were mislabeled  and incorrect assumptions made about your abilities.

Given your age, you probably have already carved out a niche in some career or
vocation.  Please be careful NOT to Throw Out the Baby with the Bath Water!! If you have been moderately successful,  if your vocation brings you fulfillment and your income is acceptable, you may be the lucky one!  After all,  there is no doubt that many students who pursue the dreams which schools present to them are not happy.
    There might also be some significant value in your seeking some type of counseling.  Re-visiting some of the academic traumas you experienced in school might cause some issues to surface.,  and In Your Right Mind would feel better if you had the support and opportunity to process these thoughts and feelings with a professional.

Dear In Your Right Mind,
I am an artist and I happen to be left handed., and  I work in a hospital as a medical artist.  I have been reading a lot recently about learning styles and left-handedness,  and I am wondering whether I could find someone to teach me the math and science that I never seemed able to grasp in high school and which I avoided like the plague in college. 
My colleagues here at the hospital are encouraging and I am interested, but I am also a little reticent
Do you think I could achieve this?  Is it possible?

        Signed,

    Psyched in Pacific Palisades

Dear Psyched,
    In Your Right Mind could not have said it any better.  You appear to be  a well adjusted individual who is in touch with her/his talents,  yet you are also in touch with some educational issues which have never been resolved from your childhood.
    We are supportive of your efforts!
    You’ll need to locate someone thoroughly knowledgeable in whatever math or science you may desire to acquire.  You may want to tap into someone who has an alternative learning style themselves, so keep on the lookout for someone in your region, perhaps at a vocational technical college or local junior college who is either perhaps left-handed or in touch with the difference between presenting information and teaching it!

    Yet your real test will be whether you can withstand the dissonance of reverting back to an environment and course of study which wasn’t very nurturing, and which perhaps even today gives you pause for thought.
    The visual strengths of those who are left-handed are a wonderful gift in math and science, especially to those teachers who can appreciate and utilize your strengths. Some of the great mathematicians and scientists have been lefties.
    Next thing you know, we’ll be hearing about your application to Medical School! Good luck!

Dear In Your Right Mind,
    I am 23 and stuck in a low-end,  lower middle management job.  I read slowly,  and,  as  a matter of fact ,  I don’t like to read at all and never did very well in school.   I am not stupid but I don’t feel smart. 
    My strengths appear to be in working with people, and I have a good sense of humor,  yet I can’t help but wonder where I’m bound. I don’t want to spend my whole life asking, “May I take Your Order, Please?”
    What can I, should I do?

Signed,

Low Paid in Louisiana

Dear Low Paid,
    It is important to separate out what you do from who you are. You are young enough to have most of your future in front of you, so now is the time to be optimistic, not pessimistic.
    What are your talents and interests? You mention that you don’t read and that you don’t like to read, but you don’t say why.
    Interestingly, in the experience of In Your Right Mind,  most individuals who don’t like to read  avoid it because they are lousy at it.  They either read so slowly that they bore themselves, or read with such little comprehension that the process becomes meaningless.
    We would encourage you to see if there are any educational information your parents might have at home which are diagnostic or explanatory in nature.  Try to understand who you are as a learner.  Don’t be discouraged by your somewhat recent experiences in school, since many schools do not accurately identify the strengths of their students, but seem adept at both identifying and sometimes manufacturing their weaknesses.
    What we are saying is that you need to step back and try to understand how you got to where you are at.  You need to develop a plan to aid you in identifying who you are a learner: how you learn best and worse,  how you would be best required to demonstrate mastery of knowledge learned, what your interests are, how you spend your free time, etc.
    Bottom line is that you are in a position to re-evaluate your current status. Your local public school may very well have some resources you can tap into,  but don’t be discouraged.
    Don’t wait for even well-intentioned promises to occur; after all, what is your child experiencing (failure, lowered self-esteem) as you patiently wait for his/her ship to come in?  Do something and do it now! Look into some objective assessment by a well-trained, informed professional. Don’t buy into assumptions and misguided notions of later development “filling in” the current academic skills gaps that are causing your child to under-perform. No matter what it will cost you in time and money,  I assure you that it is costing your child even more as she/he tries to understand the origins of his learning deficits.
    Keep in touch and tell us how you are doing.

And take care!